SOAK IT UP.

I got my grade back for midterm 2 on Physics. 37% x_x. I don't feel too bad, 45% of the class failed with me. It's crucial to study hard now, which is what I plan to do, probably won't, but I'll TRY! Actually, it was crucial from the beginning. Choosing to be an engineer makes me wonder sometimes why I did in the first place. Knowing that if I really want to be an engineer, I can't let my emotions fall into play or let anything else effect me but school. It's so hard sometimes. I will look up until I run into a pole. I gotta figure out what to take and where to go for summer school. It will likely be English because I don't know if I will fail Calc 2 or Physics, if I enroll in them now and end up not failing, then it's stupid. I guess it's always good to be safe than sorry. But if I do enroll now, does that mean I am doubting myself and thinking I won't pass?! I've never failed a college course, this may be the first time I fail, and in TWO courses. Ahhh.. cannon balls from the left field. IDK! If I put my mind into things, I think I can do well, I've done it before, but can I do it again? It's also the material that really nails my head to the wall, so little time to decide and the more I wait, the tougher the situation gets. I will talk to an advisor tomorrow. I went to see my Calc professor today, I felt nervous talking to him. I tried to pretend I know something, well I do, but like I just feel pressure being around him. I don't want to give him the impression that he's teaching bad because he's not, just a little too quick sometimes. I don't want to give him the impression that I don't pay attention in class and not know anything, but I'm pretty sure he knows that when he looks at my grades. FML. I didn't know what I wanted help with, it was too much to ask for.. I guess I'll study with the people who get the stuff. I am a quick learner and I know it. I just gotta put my head in the sink and morph into a sponge.