Home Stretch

This will be hard, I can already feel it. Today I felt so motivated for an hour, I non stopped smiled til I got to physics. I spent 3 hours after doing my lab report. I felt motivated because I went to see my professor for my Cultures class. She asked me what my major was, I told her Engineering. Although I don't build buildings, she told me that I have to incorporate everything I need to do and make it like a building, so that it stands. She said she wanted to be the earthquake that will test my strength, therefore throwing a challenge at me. I love challenges, but sometimes they can be too hard. I don't know, I can't really express the way she said it here, but it just really gave me the will to complete this semester, study hard, and achieve what I want in life. I was semi-productive today, actually I was more productive than I usually am. I feel very tired, this whole day was tiring. I'm up right now studying for calc. There is a quiz 2m morning, I think I will fail. I don't know any of the material, haven't put the time and care that this class needs from me. I feel good, just not really when it comes to school. There are so many paths to walk out there. Each path has it's own mysteries and surprises. Some are dark, some are bright, some are deceiving. Where do I go? What do I seek? Right now I'm like on the autopilot bandwagon. Sooner or later I'll have to jump off and go about my own way. I really can't wait til summer. I want to go to summer school, I missed the fin. aid deadline @ state, I just completely forgot about it. I won't have much fun in the summer if I fail all my classes, this bandwagon is kinda taking me there.. I'm not emo, just confused. I'm happily retarded :) School sucks so bad, but I have to be glad I'm given an opportunity to go to school. I don't like cutting class, I feel guilty. When I think about all the people out there who would fight just to have my spot, I turn my head back and walk to class. It's hard to focus, but nothing in life is easy.

I'm always hungry, I've been eating too much, I think it's time to hide my money and cards.. Could be good, could be bad.. I think I'll just go to sleep and study before class. Getting there on time and feeling awake is more important than cramming @ this time of the night and taking the quiz all drowsy. I want to go running tomorrow, well today, but I have a lot of school work to take care of.

I swapped beds yesterday, taking the one nobody uses and replacing it with my crappy one. This one feels so much better, I think I found the reason why I could only sleep 6 hours before and wake up with back spasms. Good sleep is significant, this is a start of positiveness! I hope things continue to go on a positive slope from now on, even if the slope isn't that steep. It's been a long, but short semester.

I know everyone is embedded with their own problems, it's not just me. I am probably wasting time even blogging, but I want to be able to read this in the future and learn from it. Like in a race, you gotta finish strong and give it all you got, right? We're almost there guys, it's time to sprint!